Let me tell you, possums.
No amount of HGTV and TLC, “My first Home”, “House Hunters”, “Property Virgins”, “Flip that House” could have prepared me of the sheer annoyance I have faced these past weeks.
But the shows did educate me about lots of other things, so I can still highly recommend watching them to learn about a ton of stuff.
Why, you ask? Because your head possum here does NOT like to wait. I am fine with waiting in private, but if I am dealing with business situations, I am pretty tough.
Someone who really badly wants to sleep with me, A broker friend of mine told me the following recently “You are a broker’s worst nightmare. You are really well informed, you do your research and you are a tough negotiator…now can I fuck you?”
So, I am learning a few things through this:
A: I am really well organized. I never thought that applied to my private life but it actually does.
B: I am relentless.
C: I don’t like it when people think I don’t know what I am doing, because, there are certainly time where I don’t know what I am doing, but I am usually extremely honest with myself and I know when that is the case. This was confirmed through this process I am going through now. I am happy that I know when to ask and when to pull the bullshit flag.
Case in point:
The seller didn’t want to sign the Purchase & Sales agreement with the list of shit he needs to fix attached. Now, he was ok with signing a second legally binding document, but he was being an asshole concerned that the assessor from the bank might have to come bank, which would delay the closing date.
That’s what he said.
This is what I said: I always felt that closing date A was insane very amibtious. I personally have no time pressure and I don’t give a possum’s ass if the assessor has to come twice. I will gladly give him a week to fix as many of the things he can and will then conduct a walk through and take the things he’s fixed off the list.
But most importantly, every DAY you don’t sign this lease jackass, is one more day you prevent this from going to the underwriter at my bank. You want my money more than I want a mortgage, so you do the math.
So, your darling head possum has a closing date now that makes SENSE. I got to walk through my future fingers and toes crossed home again yesterday and a few things have already gotten fixed. I am very excited about that. It feels right and good and I think the canines will love it as much as I do.
After I got home, I had about 30 minutes to get my house cooled down to a bearable temperature for a date situation and was told that A: I am cute (check!) and B: I am a very sexy woman, Considering I looked like a drenched drag queen and was wearing my cargo shorts, a t-shirt and a bra he couldn’t see, that was a really compliment.
You read right. No dress. Cargo shorts. I figured dude has seen me twice in 4 inch heels and a dress, he might as well get that ILLUSION erased that I wear that while eating take-out and playing with my dogs in a 90 degree apartment.
So, anyway. That was fun. 4 dogs, 2 people, 1 take out.
The best thing? I am still in my “I don’t care about dating phase” and as a fabulous friend put it yesterday “Stay there! It seems to work.”