Check out the comments on the post I wrote yesterday and you can see why I am such a lucky head possum.
I don’t really look at my life thinking I did anything great. Rather the opposite. There are days, where I would prefer to whip myself, slap myself around and tar and feather myself be upset with myself for choosing some of the paths I took and then I do remember, that, HELL, life is full of paths and forks in the road and you kind of have to go one way or the other.
Your choices are often left or right, yes or no. There usually isn’t a safe road to travel, because, eventually, there will be yet another fork and you have to decide, left or right, yes or no.
Now, you could certainly turn around and go back, but let’s just all make a comittment that going back where we came from generally is no option.
I have never really wanted to go back. I have actually made extremely stern comittments to never go back.
That includes sticking the finger down my throat to tickle my tonsils and throw up my food, because, damn, that’s literally what a good bulimic has to do at some point, because your body just doesn’t respond anymore.
I will never do that again.
Eating 400 calories per day? FAIL. Being 89 pounds wasn’t all that great in retrospect. See. Will never go back.
Being treated like crap and not love for me? All set. Thanks. Had enough for my life time. Not going back.
Shit jobs that didn’t make me happy? While there are no guarantees for this one, HOWEVER, there is no turning back. There is just learning, moving forward, doing the best you can. If all works out you stay where you are a long time, if not you will come to a fork in the road and choose one path or the other.
See. All paths. I have just been lucky that I have been walking along, walking with, carried, carried by, held up, pushed down, encouraged, kicked it the ass, scolded and loved by some awesome people along the way. Which makes it all worthwhile.
Self-reflection, working on yourself, finding your way, finding yourself and believing that you are deserving.
Tonight my path will lead me to Fenway Park. The next fork in the road will be Fenway Frank or……FENWAY FRANKS (as in two Franks) and then hoping I don’t have to stay the entire game, cause really, I am just there for the Franks. ;)