Fabulously Out There

Putting the Fabulous in East Boston since 2005 -I have written about my life, my dog(s), my sex life, my my love life, my dating, my non-dating, my job searches and my soul searches since 2005. This is my space and my opinions. I use my space freely and voice my opinions freely. I call my readers possums, cause it's a cute word, not because they aren't fabulous and stunningly handsome and beautiful. :)

And then you sit… September 4, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — englandia @ 1:05 pm

I am so looking forward to moving out at this point. I can’t wait to be in my own place, but last night I did get hit with a wave of melancholy for many different reasons.

This apartment was the place I moved into at a time where life was completely fucked up and unsettled. Where I didn’t know what was going to be next, how I was going to manage. I spent Christmases here alone, I spent birthdays here alone. Thanksgivings.  Before I had friends in the city. It’s was tought. I had a couple of roommates with dogs, who were great.
It’s the little things though, that get me. The little things that matter.
The deck I used to sit on for hours with the Italian talking about love and life.
The deck I also had amazing sex on with the Marine Helicopter Pilot. Jesus Christ.
These rooms have been filled with warmth and laughter and love. I have felt the most loved and accepted in this place, the most sheltered and saved. And while none of these things have anything to do with the place, it was still the physical location.
I hung my German flag out of this window to offset all of the Mexican and Brazilian flags during the World Cup. I painted a room a deep dark red, another one a crazy ass fuchsia and others teal-ish.
I threw my shoes against the wall of this place. I have collapsed in a heap of tears in every room in this house.
God, have I had great sex in this place (Sorry neighbors, I know I am loud!).
I have spent winters with the windows open without knowing it, I have had a man sit on the sidewalk staring at my bedroom window for hours, as I was told later.
I cooked in here (rarely), drank in here (lots), adopted a dog, made friends, hosted parties. I have stumbled in here drunk and happy, sad and confused, barefoot after a night danced away. Gotten kissed on the doorsteps and in every corner of this place.
This apartment has been a true haven for me. I know the new one is going to be the same haven, if not better. But this apartment was a save place during a time of complete worry, fear and sometimes even terror.
So last night I thought about all that and I am thankful I found this place, these wonderful landlords who are now good friends and great neighbors. Off I go to a better place soon.

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13 Responses to “And then you sit…”

  1. tallredamanda Says:

    Beautifully written. As always. :-)

  2. miss crazy Says:

    :) it’s great to have a place like that. and change is also great. at the right time. that’s how i feel about our move, too. and the closer the date gets, the more “okay” i am about leaving the apartment / building i’ve lived in for nine years. my first own place… now we’re on to a new chapter, new stores, new neighborhood, new neighbors, new way to work, new everything… i cannot wait (and we’re not even moving into out own place) but i also understand where you’re coming from with this post! *hugs*

  3. san Says:

    I am glad you have such good memories about the apartment that you’re leaving behind…. off to make new memories in your new, own place! :)

  4. Marcia Says:

    Your words were able to bestow a sense of place on my spirit. They are beautiful. I’ve been where I am for over 5 years and have never felt that it was right. I’ve had many of the same experiences as you in your place, thus your words have brought me to a more comfortable feeling.
    Thank you, and I wish your new place to be the purveyor of many, even happier, memories.

  5. Nicole Says:

    That was a really nice post!!

  6. Maribeth Says:

    There are seasons in our lives. Ones that save us, ones that grow us and ones that care for us, even when we can’t quite do that ourselves.
    People, places, homes. Yes all make small places in our memories and our hearts.

  7. Lori Says:

    I love this post. I felt the same way about my post-divorce apartment. I haven’t lived there in years but I think of it fondly at times :)

  8. charlotte Says:

    Gosh, I felt the same way when I moved out of my apartment and in with TBIK, two entire weeks before we got married (SIN! SIN! SIN!). And sometimes, I still think back to the good old days when I could just come home, kick my shoes off, crack a beer open, and fall on my futon with the TV set on … oh, wait, no money for cable, so the TV was set on CBS, the only channel you could get with rabbit ears.

    Life? Was good then. Life’s good now, too–different, but good.

  9. stefanie Says:

    Have I ever mentioned that your life always reminds me of Sex And The City. The funny thing is that I have never ever watched Sex And The City but this is how I picture it – like your life and your personality. :)

    • fabulouslyinboston Says:

      God, some days I feel the same way. Last night I walked into a bar and said to my friend “This feels like a scene from sex in the city. 20% lawyers, 20% architects and 20% I have already dated” (now, the original line is “20% I have already slept with”, however that would not be accurate ;).

      This post sounded a bit Carrie-ish, I suppose…..I do love my life. But as you know, there are challenges. Like we all have :)

  10. rox Says:

    All great moments in life are a bit bittersweet.

  11. DivaEva Says:

    Thanks for sharing your thoughts today.
    I’m sorry we didn’t get together when you were in Chicago.
    Don’t know what happened, but think we were just both busy.
    I feel the same way about my place, and it sounds like we’ve both gone through the same things. The new place will be even better, with the most amazing memories ever because it’s yours!!
    Good luck with your move, I’m so excited for you.
    Eva

  12. Not So Little Woman Says:

    It IS a wonderful apartment. Here’s to the memories to be made in the new one. :)


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