Fabulously Out There

Putting the Fabulous in East Boston since 2005 -I have written about my life, my dog(s), my sex life, my my love life, my dating, my non-dating, my job searches and my soul searches since 2005. This is my space and my opinions. I use my space freely and voice my opinions freely. I call my readers possums, cause it's a cute word, not because they aren't fabulous and stunningly handsome and beautiful. :)

How to buy a mattress… September 8, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — englandia @ 4:10 am

Mattress buying is happening in the Head Possum household.

I am taking the leap and making the investment, since my current mattress is in not so great shape anymore.

My heart has been set on a memory foam mattress for a year or so. I mean, I was all “no if’s, when’s or but’s.”

I went to the Jordan Furniture Sleep Lab this weekend and discovered the unthinkable.

I was test snuggling and narrowed it down to two mattresses.

As I was sitting on the memory foam, I thought to myself “Wait a second. You just SINK. There is no bounce. HOW THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO HAVE GOOD ORGASMS IF THERE IS NO BOUNCE IN MY MATTRESS.”

I went to option 2, which is a bit more expensive, but a mix of memory foam top and normal mattress underneath and gave it a good bounce test.

Then I walked into the furniture section and dragged my friend out, who happens to own a really expensive memory foam mattress and who has always told me she loved it.

“Darling, how about the sex?”

“Oh,” she answered. “You know you came to the right person. I would NEVER buy a memory foam mattress again. Great traction, no bounce.”

And there you have it, possums. That’s how you buy a mattress.

Determine the following:

A: What do you need for a good orgasm? Bounce or no bounce?

Buy accordingly. VOILA. :)

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7 Responses to “How to buy a mattress…”

  1. susanne Says:

    hey, no matter what everybody says, the real expensive swedish one…is the one for me…it is so worth it..not just for sex….but for your body..it feels like paradise.
    That at least is my opinion,and I have owend alot of mattresses in my life.
    Viele Gruesse aus Texas,
    Susanne

  2. Maribeth Says:

    Thanks. Since I am in he market, I will keep that advice at the top of my list of wants!

  3. Charlotte Says:

    My advice: The harder the better.

    Yes, that also applies to the mattress of my choice. ;-)

  4. san Says:

    Mh, you’re hilarious. :)

  5. Karen in CT Says:

    I cannot thank you enough for this timely post. We need a new mattress and my husband has been set on getting a memory foam monstrosity. I believe your post will win my argument against it hand’s down :o)

    As an FYI…waterbeds = too much bouncing.


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