Following on my recent advice on penis size, I want to pass on some other common knowledge. This was inspired by a private post of a fellow blogger who will remain unnamed (due to privacy of post, logically).
This is about your spunk and your orgasms, boys. So listen up.
This might be a shock to some of you but…….the vast majority of women do not like it when you explode in their face.
Now, let’s let that sink in for a few seconds.
Do. Not. Like.
I get it, you watch it on TV, or better on DVD or pay-per-view in a hotel, but you forget something super vital: The ladies in the porn flicks get PAID to get your jizzy juice splattered in their faces while you jerk off with a tub of vaseline on your bed.
In addition, I can guarantee you that they are NOT enjoying it, but you know, money makes almost everything do-able.
Now. There is the suggestion: Buy yourself some porn and enjoy the view. If you want your girlfriend to enjoy it, I would suggest a discussion beforehand accompanied by a gift card that’s at least in the $500-$1000 range, because that’s about how much it would cost a “accommodating” girlfriend to endure your jizz in her hair. At least.
If you don’t, bad things can happen. I recall specifically one time getting this feeling that my “person of interest” was not going to follow my instructions on that matter, so I might or might not have slapped his hand with accompanying penis to the side as he was climaxing. Needless to say he experienced true pain and pleasure that time, but I take this business serious. I love me some freaky fun stuff, so in light of what I personally enjoy, this might seem minor, but it’s not minor to me ;)
Take my advice. Aim right. Accidents don’t happen. If you can’t aim, you should jerk off.